My Week in Haiku — week 10
New Year, new complaints
Anyone who knows me knows that I like to complain. Kvetch, kvetch, kvetch. It’s the essence of who I am.
So, as part of being my genuine self, allow me to share with you my first grievance of the New Year. I won’t use names; I’ll just refer to the perpetrator as “Husband.”
Well, Husband ruined my New Year’s Eve. I had planned for us to have a lovely evening. We would have charcuterie (a fancy word for cheese, crackers, and other munchies) at home, spend “quality time” together, and watch some old movies, like When Harry Met Sally and You’ve Got Mail.
But, on the day before New Year’s Eve, Husband did something very stupid that thoroughly pissed me off. His stupid-ass behavior left me no longer in the mood for charcuterie or movies.
Instead, I had to punish him.
At noon on New Year’s Eve, I had shitty pizza from a crappy place nearby delivered and left him to watch Sasquatch shows streaming on tv by himself. He probably preferred watching Bigfoot documentaries, but I know he hated the pizza, so that brought me at least some satisfaction.
What are the odds of Husband ruining a holiday? Oh, around 95% likelihood. Birthdays, anniversaries, holidays — he fucks them up all the time.
